Being unwilling to forgive can be your greatest disadvantage in life.
Once upon a time I held on to everything in my life. I had to get even. I had to get justice. I had to be right. I had to tell it like it is.
In every instance that I chose to hang on to my thoughts and feelings about someone or something, I suffered tremendously.
I found this quote from Gerald Jampolsky to be true,
“To not forgive is a decision to suffer.”
Unforgiveness placed me at a disadvantage in life. It closed me to only my perspective. I was unable to see the larger picture unfolding. I was cut off from love and thought I could muscle my way into it somehow. I was wrong.
It doesn’t take much effort to forgive. It takes a willingness to let go of expectations. It takes courage to open up again. But most importantly, it takes trust that the act of forgiveness is for no one else but you.
If I had known the key to peace was releasing people and circumstances so I could heal on the inside, I would have done it a long time ago.
Today is a new day.
Now I know that when I choose to forgive someone and forgive myself, I free another small part of my spirit to be at peace.
I built the resentment up and then I tore it down. So can you.
Now is the greatest time to let go of what is no longer serving your life. Is it time to break away from the chains of unforgiveness?
If so, stand right where you are and say, “So and so, I forgive you for ____________. I release you to be you and I release me from you.”
Feel those words, take them to heart, and allow all of the negative emotion to leave you like rising steam from a locomotive.
See the good in that person and see the good in yourself. Allow your mind and heart to accept the new version of yourself you have just become.
You can give new meaning to the quote, “To not forgive is a decision to suffer.”
Now you can say with confidence, “To forgive is a decision to heal.”
Originally published in The Good Men Project