Calgon Take Me Away! What to Do When Life Gets Upsetting

Things don’t change. We change. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Life can be seemingly awful at times and brilliant at others. It really comes down to your perception of it. What do you do when life really gets difficult, when situations and people tend to pile on and make the molehill a mountain?

Well, the answer requires a little investigation and a willingness to see life from a different perspective. To get started, take a step back to see the situation AS IT IS. We need to get a little separation from our upset and hurt.

Keep in mind that how you feel about the situation might play a part in your upset.

To get slight separation, start with these two words…How interesting!

How interesting is neutral centered language that helps you step out mentally from your situation to take a look at it objectively.

Ask, what is the situation AS IT IS without your upset about it? Oh, how interesting! Now, let’s look at the emotion of upset. Your feelings of upset are valid.

Usually, 9 times out of 10, we are upset because we are resisting against what is. We believe beyond a shadow of a doubt, the situation SHOULD BE a certain way. And it’s not. Dang it!

Your upset lies in the difference between what SHOULD BE and WHAT IS.

Let’s put this into context. Let’s say your child won’t clean his room. You expect him to get it done and it’s not happening. Argh!

You resist the fact the room is not getting cleaned and picked up, which creates pain and upset. You might think, “It will never get done!” Seemingly, a myriad of the other negative thoughts pile up behind it. “He doesn’t do anything! What is his problem?”

In your mind, the situation continues to snowball. To top it off, you oppose yourself, saying things like, “Didn’t I raise him right? He should know better!” This matter continues to get worse until you can’t see through the fog any longer.

To balance this upset, you need to FOCUS on the solution in lieu of the problem

1. Take three deep breaths. Then let go of your expectation that the room had to be cleaned right then. When you do, you release resistance to the situation and puts WHAT IS in plain sight. 

    2. Replace Upset with Love. “This room will NEVER get clean!” is replaced with “WHEN it gets clean.” Focus on the end result. When you change your mindset, you invite Hope in and back it with other positive thoughts. Make the intention known, “WHEN it gets clean, it will look amazing!

     3. Talk with your child about the importance of cleaning his room. Tell him why it’s important.  Say, “You will be helping our family and yourself when you clean your room.” Then make a suggestion and request. “Will you take charge and get this done? End the conversation with a positive statement. “You have cleaned it so well before.  I believe you will do a good job.”

When you approach the situation with this mindset, you invite cooperation and harmony into the conversation along with a positive history of the things your child has done well. Encourage him

4. Now, you are back in a power position. You see clearly WHAT IS and what needs to be done. No more fog. You have provided Choice and positivity to your child to resolve the issue.  You have just put the decision back in his court and encouraged him to take action to make the family team run successfully. Trust in the positive result.

When you invite positive action with confidence, the resistance drops like a hot potato. As a result, your upset subsides and things become brighter because you are now flowing WITH life again instead of swimming hard AGAINST the current.